Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
