is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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