I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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