How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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