just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
