Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
