I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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