Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
