i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
