OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
