I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
