I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
