it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize