just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
