just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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