you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
