I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
