do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize