Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
