he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
vagina is talking i cant
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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