i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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