jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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