Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
