On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
