you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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