i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize