AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
