Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
