thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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