I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
