I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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