Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
