i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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