She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
