Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
