feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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