Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize