She announced her abortion via fbk
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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