I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
