I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize