It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
