you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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