My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
