he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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