Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
