You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
