Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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