It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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