if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
