Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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