So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
