Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize