finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Floor bacon is actually really good
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
