I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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