guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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