Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
