so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Im part way to drunk.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
