We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
