did you get engaged???
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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