I'm so fucking centered right now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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