I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize