Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
