My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize