i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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